Sexual Trauma: Muted Emotions & Keeping Quiet
I've been a victim of sexual abuse since I was a toddler. Until now, on Friday, June 25, 2021, I've denied all of my sexual abuse. When I was between the ages of 4-6 years old, I was assaulted by a family friend who was a teenager at the time. As a teenager, I told a few close friends the time, but they were untroubled because I wasn't emotional when I told them. During my adolescent years, I was very promiscuous and had no idea why. Instead of facing the truth that I had been wounded not only as a child but also as a teenager, I used sex and the implication of sex to escape from my innermost sentiments and fears. I've had multiple interactions with men who raped me then telling me we had sex and everything was OK. As a result, I claimed everything was fine and stayed quiet and to myself.
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