New Chapter: Same Blues

I'm always under the impression that I'm not doing enough. I usually feel like I am behind schedule or running late in life. Every day, I struggle with my depression and anxiety. I spent the entire semester eating one meal a day, if at all. I cried almost everyday worried about how I was performing at my internship at kindness.org while trying to keep track of my last 6 classes to graduate.I am now finished with my bachelor's degree and I'm not as proud of myself as I should be. In 2023, I plan to enroll to get my master's degree in social work; may God bless me and guide me along the way. I want to express my gratitude to God for everything! I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for God..... I almost didn't make it.


Nonetheless, I believe I will always battle with depression and anxiety. What I have observed throughout the years is that as I transition from one stage of life to another so does my depression and anxiety, they evolve with me. I am still struggling with issues I had as a child and that makes me very sad. I truly believed that by 21 I would have resolved some of my issues. To the rest of the world, I am perceived as  high functioning and I will probably always be. I just hope and pray that I can hold on until my time here is actually over.





Location: United States

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Happy $ Broke

 I'm HAPPY and broke.. poor.. POVERTY... can you believe it? im broke and happy im poor and happy THIS IS A PHENOMENAL I never thought I had to be wealthy to be happy but I def knew I didnt want or need to be in poverty to find my happiness, listen im talking 0.80 something cents in my Chase bank account, currently in Grad school literally struggling to get to class, in debt not for Grad school yet but from personal endeavours and business through my mental and emotional stress, meltdown and break through.. gyal girlllll let me tell you its not easy but im here and im doing it so you can too
Read more

Getting Over A Situationship: Being Gaslit

  Hello, my name is Ange. I used to have trouble getting myself to eat throughout the day for the past 8 months . I've had this problem for a long time, but it became more severe when I was 19 years old. Since I was ten years old, I've battled depression. I was freed from a two-year toxic relationship and sank into a deep depression. When I was 18, I became involved with a man who didn't like me but felt like I did. My eating disorder was at its lowest point when the breakup was fresh, and I lost a significant amount of weight in a short span of time. I had lost a great deal of hair and was having a hard time getting through my day-to-day life. I tried drinking and smoking marijuana to cope, but it didn't help. I was dealing with a man who wasn't being honest with me, so I went through his social media and put two and two together and questioned him about it on several occasions. He called me pathetic, insecure and controlling....at least those are the three insults...
Read more

Sexual Trauma: Muted Emotions & Keeping Quiet

  I've been a victim of sexual abuse since I was a toddler. Until now, on Friday, June 25, 2021, I've denied all of my sexual abuse. When I was between the ages of 4-6 years old, I was assaulted by a family friend who was a teenager at the time. As a teenager, I told a few close friends the time, but they were untroubled because I wasn't emotional when I told them. During my adolescent years, I was very promiscuous and had no idea why. Instead of facing the truth that I had been wounded not only as a child but also as a teenager, I used sex and the implication of sex to escape from my innermost sentiments and fears. I've had multiple interactions with men who raped me then telling me we had sex and everything was OK. As a result, I claimed everything was fine and stayed quiet and to myself.
Read more