2023

 2023 didn't go as I expected. At the beginning of the year, I started grad school for early childhood education and dropped out in the middle to the end of the semester and I really truly thought I was on my way to

being a teacher ( I opt out of social work which was my very first option)


I got a job as a preschool assistant teacher in April right after quitting grad school.


I got my first “salaried” position as a Case

Manager working with refugees right after quitting teaching.



I literally only have 2 friends right now: Adisa & Grace


 I have no man. Dating has been hard. I don't think ill ever love again….i don't want to have a child either.


My outlook on life has changed in some ways. Humans are interesting and so is the world we live in.


I never say I'm proud of myself bc I don't see the good changed or progress in myself. I do not think I am where I want or need to be.


-------------------------------------------


Would the middle school suicide 



Ever since the day I tried to take my life the only joy ive felt ever since was getting my dog Bliss. Bliss brings joy to our lives


Ill never really forgot the feeling... I don't even think I have words when

I was laying down in my bed for months in 2021 easily perishing from all the pain 





The Good Ones Go.....

  • somehow I feel like the best parts of who I am left throughout these past 3 years (2021-2023)


In person I am everything and more 

  • nobody ever celebrated me or any "accomplishment"
  • I've realized that how "well" I treated people was based on how I wish and one day hoped someone would 


I'm always in my room


2020-2022...2023

I tried to drink it away

I tried to put one in the air

I tried to cry it away

I tried to change it with my hair

I ran my credit card bills up

Thought a new "dress" make it better

I tried to work it away

But that just made me even sadder

I tried to keep myself busy

I ran around circles

Think I made myself dizzy

... yea I made myself Dizzy I cried it away I smoked it away I lived it away

                                      _ Cranes In The Sky



I can disassociate  with my world... the world... easily 


I just want to be successful that's it. I want more for myself and my mom. We deserve it.  We've been through a lot. 


To my mommy, 

 Just hold on, you left your mark on me. You did things I will never have the strength to do. You saved me… many times

Theres not enough words to express my respect for you.



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